Helping your friend
Helping Your Friend
Believe your friend. People rarely lie about being sexually assaulted. Be sure that your friend knows how much you support her or him.
Allow your friend to decide when to seek professional help. You are still helping your friend even if she or he refuses some of your suggestions. Providing support is better than pressuring your friend.
Let your friend control the situation as much as possible. Let your friend determine the pace of healing. Help your friend understand the options available, and encourage your friend to keep his or her options open. Most important, allow your friend to make his or her own decisions.
Show you want to listen. A friend may confide in you 10 minutes or 10 years after the assault. At that time, it does not matter what you say, but how you listen. Remember that someone has violated your friend's sense of trust, so one of the most important things that you can do is respect your friend's need for someone to confide in.
Don't search for things your friend could have done differently. No one asks to be sexually assaulted. Avoid blaming questions and judgmental pointed phrases such as, "Why didn't you scream?" or "If I ever get my hands on that creep . . ." or "I would have . . ."
Encourage your friend to get medical attention as soon as possible. Your friend can get medical attention from the University Health Service, Strong Memorial Hospital Emergency Room, or a private physician. Emergency Room staff will contact the police when they treat sexual assault victims. The police will ask your friend to file a report, but she or he does not have to talk to the police or file a report if she or he does not want to.
There is help for your friend and you. Your friend may need medical attention or counseling. Offer to help your friend through the process. Remember to take good care of yourself also.
| Previous | Next |
