{"id":434572,"date":"2020-09-07T13:02:59","date_gmt":"2020-09-07T17:02:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/?p=434572"},"modified":"2020-09-07T13:02:59","modified_gmt":"2020-09-07T17:02:59","slug":"the-adventures-and-misadventures-of-the-extraordinary-and-admirable-joan-orpi-conquistador-and-founder-of-new-catalonia-by-max-besora-and-mara-faye-lethem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/2020\/09\/07\/the-adventures-and-misadventures-of-the-extraordinary-and-admirable-joan-orpi-conquistador-and-founder-of-new-catalonia-by-max-besora-and-mara-faye-lethem\/","title":{"rendered":"“The Adventures and Misadventures of the Extraordinary and Admirable Joan Orp\u00ed, Conquistador and Founder of New Catalonia” by Max Besora and Mara Faye Lethem"},"content":{"rendered":"

In honor of the Catalan Fellowship organized by the Institut Ramon Lllul and taking place virtually this week, I thought I would share the opening of next Catalan title to come out from Open Letter: <\/em>The Adventures and Misadventures of the Extraordinary and Admirable Joan Orp\u00ed, Conquistador and Founder of New Catalonia by Max Besora and Mara Faye Lethem. Preorder today from our website<\/a> or your favorite indie bookstore.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

September 10, 1714,<\/strong><\/p>\n

the Siege of Barcelona<\/strong><\/p>\n

A group of infantry soldiers and their captain opt to smoke and drink in an abandoned theater rather than be stationed at the walls, firing against the Bourbon troops. Bombs fall on the city night and day, ceaselessly. Everything is ruin and desolation. Death hangs gloomily over everyone, scythe at the ready.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat mindless suicide!\u201d one of the soldiers suddenly exclaims. \u201cWe shall die as rats yf we continue on this way. A pox upon the Hapsburgs and a pox upon the Bourbons: \u00a0!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDie as dogs, jolt-head!\u201d chides another soldier. \u201cI should beat thee down at present! For at least we shall make history! They\u2019ll write book after book about us, they will erect museums, make paintings, write poems in our honor . . . we shall be heroes of the fatherland!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye, if there\u2019s any fatherland left,\u201d grumbles a third infantryman.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had rather be a living deserter than a dead patriot,\u201d muses a fourth soldier.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s enough! Quiet, all ye!\u201d bellows the troop\u2019s captain. \u201cChance to die and chance to live but, in any case, remember that the fatherland doesn\u2019t always coincide with the territory. I wot the tale of a man named Joan Orp\u00ed, who refounded our Catalonia on the other side of the globe, less than a century hence. On my word.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIncredible!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCock and pie!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what befell henceforward, Captain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what befell henceforward, bid ye? Well, in \u2019is quest to try that all, he lived a thousand and one adventures,\u201d declares the captain. \u201cYe shant find these in any book of history, yet they be no less memorable or less important. Au contraire<\/em>. Would ye care to hark, and forbear complaining for a time?\u201d<\/p>\n

The infantry soldiers smile like children, nod their heads, and perk up their ears. They pour more wine and pass around tobacco. The captain\/narratorlights his wooden pipe and begins his declamation.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho was this adventurer what founded a New Catalonia thousands of leagues away, yet went to the diet of worms leaving naught a trace in our history?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoan Orp\u00ed!\u201d one soldier shrieks.<\/p>\n

\u201cPrecisely! Who traversed seas fill\u2019d withe mythical monsters and virgin forests at risk to his life (and the lives of many others) for a fistful of gold coins and (perchance) posthumous glory . . . ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOrp\u00ed . . . !\u201d bellows a soldier.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe selfsame! And who risk\u2019d chicaning the very Catholic Kings and came cross\u2019t near as many enemyes as friends?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChristopher Columbus . . . ?\u201d ventures another soldier.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, ya beef-head, none other than Joan Orp\u00ed! At least that was what I was told by a corky criollo from the Yndies I happen\u2019d upon one night when tippling in Seville. He quoth to be a \u2018friend of a Catalan conquistador, humble altho an old Christian[1]<\/sup><\/a> and a nobleman of New Andalusia in the Americas, later founder of New Catalonia.\u2019 Thus he even spake Catalan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHold up . . . one moment, Captain!\u201d says one of the soldiers. \u201cCanst thou truly trust a brandy-face? Art thou convinsced the criollo was whom he sayd to be and that he werent lying with a latchet? How many years pass\u2019d betwixt these events and the telling of them? And, once for all, why have I this tic in mine eye each tyme I get nervous?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEnuf tilly-tally, soldier, and merely heed the tale,\u201d orders the captain, in a didactic tone. \u201cWhence my \u2018informant\u2019 explaint this historical drama to me, the criollo in question were four sheets to the wind. Nonetheless, I didst believe him. And knowth ye why? 1) For the criollo spake Catalan, and 2) for I be a man of faith (faith in the imagination, to be clear!). And now, allow me begin with chapter XVI, of whych I am inordinately fond.\u201d<\/p>\n

[1]<\/sup><\/a> i.e. <\/em>In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, the subject of blood purity divided the Hispanic world into new Christians, in other words, those descended from Arabs or Jews, and old Christians, of pure Christian blood.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

CHAPTER XVI<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

In which young Orp\u00ed celebrates Carnaval<\/strong><\/p>\n

with his fraternity and ends up<\/strong><\/p>\n

dressed as the Stag King<\/strong><\/p>\n

I shall begin with a day when Joan Orp\u00ed was celebrating Carnaval. Following the parade, our young hero ended up in a cemetery, where a band of joyous revelers were engaged in a wide range of obscenities. Some were licking others\u2019 anuses, some were eating fruits and tomatoes they\u2019d rubbed on their genitals, and others were drinking sacramental wine and masturbating and dancing to the improvised music of drums and tambourines. All were dedicated to the collective ritual, singing, shrieking, praying, making offerings and insinuations, muddy and half nude . . . ducks and rabbits fell at their hands . . . hens were violated and eviscerated . . . some slathered themselves with the blood of the dead animals\u2014<\/p>\n

[One instant, Captain . . . halt! Forbear the tale\u00a0\u00a0!]<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are a few other instances later on of this narrator captain being interrupted<\/p>\n

\u201cHow now?\u201d he asks, irritated.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor the lyfe of us, we cannot fathom why thou beginnst with chapter sixteen. Would logick not state the first chapter?\u201d asks one of the soldiers.<\/p>\n

\u201cYea, start withe the first! The first!\u201d cry out other soldiers.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s that? Doth ye seek the typical story with a beginning, middle, and end?\u201d asks the captain, perplexed. \u201cDunderheads! Don\u2019t ye know that true literature is only true when written against itself? Why put plot over language and form?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere we hie again,\u201d complains one of the soldiers. \u201cArt thou one of those pedantic academics, ay? For if that be the case, I prefer to be killt by enemy troops . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNumbskulls!\u201d bellows the infuriated captain. \u201cWhen I speak of going against the narration I don\u2019t mean there shall bee no story, no adventures, no characters! I speak of the need for a hybrid construction, plurilingualism, exaggeration, hyperbole, pastiche, and bivocal discourse to bring together what convention & morality strive to keep separate. Literature must be a frontal attack designed to suspend all rational judgment in order to reinvent it each second anew!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI cannot bear these sermons . . .\u201d says one of the soldiers.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf he keeps up this proselytizing, I\u2019m outta hither . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYawn . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine!\u201d exclaims the captain in exasperation. \u201cOkay, Okay, fine! Quit thine complaining! I shall beginne at the beginning, as you wish! But no more interruptions, I\u2019ll lose the thread, and judge me not for mine invention, but rather for the grace of my wit, glossed in three books and their corresponding chapters, which one of ye shall \u2018copy\u2019 anon. And that\u2019s an order!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

BOOK ONE<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

IN WHICH IS NARRATED, WITH GREAT GUSTO AND AN EYE ON POSTERITY, ORP\u00cd\u2019S INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD, FIRST IN THE TOWN OF PIERA AND ANON DURING HIS STUDIES IN THE CITY OF BARCELONA, WHERE HE HAD VARIED EXPERIENCES, AS MANY GOOD AS BAD, WHICH TAUGHT HIM THAT LIFE IS NO BED OF ROSES BUT RATHER A LONG ORDEAL WHERE ONE LEARNS FROM HARD KNOCKS, AND AS SUCH AND BEFITTING HIS STORY SHALL BE EXPLAINED PERHAPS NOT EXACTLY AS IT TRULY HAPPENED, BUT AT LEAST QUITE SIMILARLY.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In honor of the Catalan Fellowship organized by the Institut Ramon Lllul and taking place virtually this week, I thought I would share the opening of next Catalan title to come out from Open Letter: The Adventures and Misadventures of the Extraordinary and Admirable Joan Orp\u00ed, Conquistador and Founder of New Catalonia by Max Besora […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":292,"featured_media":434582,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[67486],"tags":[71392,36626,71102],"class_list":["post-434572","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","tag-adventures-and-misadventures","tag-mara-faye-lethem","tag-max-besora"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434572","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/292"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=434572"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434572\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":434602,"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434572\/revisions\/434602"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/434582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=434572"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=434572"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/College\/translation\/threepercent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=434572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}