Any motivational researcher would have \u201cambivalent feelings\u201d about New Year\u2019s resolutions, says Richard Ryan<\/a>, an international expert on motivational research and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Rochester<\/a>. \u201cThe evidence shows that most of the time people aren\u2019t successful at them.\u201d<\/p>\n But don\u2019t throw in the towel quite yet. Ryan, who is also a clinical psychologist, says that any occasion that gives us an opportunity to reflect on our lives is ultimately a good thing. It doesn\u2019t have to be on New Year\u2019s. \u201cWhenever that happens, if it\u2019s really a reflective change\u2014something that you put your heart behind\u2014that can be good for people.\u201d<\/p>\n And he has another tip: what proves most satisfying, and may also be what\u2019s most needed as the COVID-19 pandemic continues, are goals that involve giving to others.<\/p>\n \u201cThink of how you can help,\u201d says\u00a0Ryan. \u201cThere\u2019s a lot of distress out there: If we can set goals that aim to help others, those kinds of goals will, in turn, also add to our own well-being.\u201d<\/p>\n His advice is grounded in decades of research. Together with Edward Deci<\/strong><\/a> (also a University of Rochester professor emeritus of psychology) Ryan is the cofounder of self-determination theory<\/a> (SDT), a broad framework for the study of human motivation and personality. Developed by the duo over nearly 40 years and explained in detail in Ryan and Deci\u2019s Self-Determination Theory: Basic Psychological Needs in Motivation, Development, and Wellness<\/em><\/strong><\/a>,<\/em> the theory has become one of the most widely accepted frameworks of human motivation in contemporary behavioral science. Its starting point is the idea that all humans have the natural\u2014or intrinsic\u2014tendency to behave in effective and healthful ways.<\/p>\n According to Ryan, who is also a professor at the Institute\u00a0for Positive Psychology and Education at Australian\u00a0Catholic University, acts of willingly helping others satisfy all three of the basic psychological needs identified in SDT research: the needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness<\/a>. Autonomy in this context means that you can engage in activities in which you feel true volition and find personal value. Competence means feeling effective and having a sense of accomplishment. Finally, relatedness means working with and feeling connected to others.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you want to make a New Year\u2019s resolution that really makes you happy, think about the ways in which you can contribute to the world,\u201d says Ryan. \u201cAll three of these basic needs are fulfilled. The research shows it\u2019s not just good for the world but also really good for you.\u201d<\/p>\n The saddest part is that most people don’t succeed at their January 1 resolutions. But that is because most of these midnight resolutions look more like pressure coming from the outside\u2014an attempt to look better, relieve guilt, or meet the standards of others. Losing weight, for example, is one of the most common New Year\u2019s goals and one that people tend to do poorly at. Part of the reason for that is where it\u2019s coming from: it\u2019s often coming from internal or external pressure\u2014as opposed to a goal that\u2019s something that you might intrinsically value such as having more health or vitality. If the goal is one that is not \u201cauthentic\u201d and not really coming from your own values or interests, the energy for it fades fast.<\/p>\n There are many goals that even when achieved will not bring people more happiness. A goal of making more money, for example, may get a person working harder, but may actually leave them less connected to others, or feeling less autonomy on a day-to-day basis. It could make the person less happy. Goals that work are ones where we can find real satisfaction in achieving them.<\/p>\n We found<\/a> that when people are focused on giving to others they experience deeper satisfactions than when their goals are more self-oriented. For example, experiments show that doing something benevolent for others, even when you will never meet the beneficiary, increases your positive mood and energy. Most recently, we published a study<\/a> about what we call people\u2019s \u201cintegrative span.\u201d We discovered that your happiness increases as your focus of concern and care gets wider. If your main concerns and cares are narrow and selfish\u2014just about \u201cme and the people very close to me,\u201d versus about \u201cmy family and my community,\u201d versus about \u201cthe larger world and everything in it\u201d\u2014 the less happy you are prone to be. A broader scope of caring and concern for others, in contrast, predicts a higher well-being.<\/p>\n Beyond the focus of your goals, there are some key elements to success at any resolution you might make. First, make sure your goal is one you truly <\/em>embrace\u2014that you are fully behind and care about. An achievable goal is also one that is not abstract, like \u201cimprove my health\u201d but concrete\u2014such as \u201cincrease my daily step count\u201d or \u201cdrink sparkling water rather than sugared soda at lunch.\u201d These latter goals are clear and achievable in a way that a vague global resolution can never be. Once having a clear aim, the next step is making a realistic plan on how and when it will be implemented.<\/p>\n Just as important, research shows that the more you can make achieving your resolution fun and \u201cintrinsically motivated\u201d the more you\u2019ll persist. For example, a plan to increase your step count might include a walk each day with a good friend\u2014which will both achieve your step goal and satisfy relatedness needs. By finding an activity that both gets you to your goal and that you actually enjoy\u2014or at least don\u2019t find aversive\u2014you\u2019ll be more likely to carry on.<\/p>\n Finally, successful resolutions are usually built upon optimal challenges. Setting the bar too high will feel discouraging and lead to disengagement. Keep in mind that with almost any long-term goal the best strategy is to set small incremental goals\u2014not \u201cI\u2019m going to climb Everest\u201d but rather \u201cI\u2019m going to take these first few steps toward base camp.\u201d<\/p>\n The past year has been tough; you can make the new one kinder. Any new goals you set that involve changing habits or lifestyles will inevitably involve some setbacks, lapses, and failures.\u00a0 So when failures happen, remember to be a compassionate self-coach. Forget the harsh judgments and instead take interest in what you can learn from the setback and where you got stuck. And then restart with that much more wisdom in hand.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n For most of us, if we give ourselves occasional moments of reflection\u2013taking the time to really think about what\u2019s going well in our lives and what really matters\u2013we can usually identify some things we could change. Often that means listening to that little nagging feeling about the things that we know would improve our lives. It means allowing ourselves to tune into that inner signal in an open, non-defensive way and to consider the possibilities and the choices that you really have. In truth, there are always ways to make life better, but the road upward need not be a painful one\u2014if you are going in the right direction.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Toss out your usual list of New Year\u2019s resolutions and do things that make the world a better place, says a Rochester expert on motivation and well-being.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":942,"featured_media":464772,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[456],"tags":[37592,18592,7876,16072],"class_list":["post-464722","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-society-culture","tag-covid-19","tag-department-of-psychology","tag-edward-deci","tag-school-of-arts-and-sciences"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n![\"Richard](\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/newscenter\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/lo17921-208x300.jpg\")
\nQ&A: Why New Year\u2019s resolutions (often) don\u2019t work<\/h2>\n
What\u2019s the problem with most New Year\u2019s resolutions? \u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Are any resolutions particularly toxic?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
It\u2019s intuitive for most of us that giving to others is satisfying. But how does that work on a psychological level? <\/strong><\/h3>\n
How do we make any resolution more likely to stick?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Any special advice for the year ahead?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
How do I find the goal I ultimately most care about?<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n