{"id":638402,"date":"2025-01-30T16:08:34","date_gmt":"2025-01-30T21:08:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/newscenter\/?p=638402"},"modified":"2025-01-30T16:08:34","modified_gmt":"2025-01-30T21:08:34","slug":"the-truth-may-hurt-but-for-couples-its-worth-it-638402","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/newscenter\/the-truth-may-hurt-but-for-couples-its-worth-it-638402\/","title":{"rendered":"The truth may hurt. But for couples, it\u2019s worth it."},"content":{"rendered":"

A team of Rochester psychologists reveals the truth about honesty in answering tough questions.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cHoney, do you think I look good in this outfit?\u201d That\u2019s hands down a loaded question. One that begs an even deeper question\u2014is honesty always <\/em>the best policy in a relationship? While a truthful answer may offend and lead to a quarrel, a dishonest one may create trust issues down the road. Does telling the truth strengthen romantic relationships, or does it backfire?<\/p>\n

Bonnie Le<\/a>, an assistant professor in the Department of Psychology<\/a> at the University of Rochester<\/a>, may have the answer\u2014based on a recent study<\/a> with more than 200 couples. Published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science<\/em><\/a>, her team\u2019s research looks at the role of honesty in romantic relationships.<\/p>\n

The study, based on face-to-face conversations between romantic partners in a lab setting, examined the effects of expressing honesty, perceiving honesty, and accurately discerning\u00a0honesty among romantic partners who shared so-called relationship-threatening information. Specifically, the study participants talked in one-on-one conversations with their partners about a change they wanted to see in the other.<\/p>\n

The finding? Just tell the truth.<\/p>\n

Of course, most of us value honesty in our close relationships, romantic or not. Honesty can help create a connection and foster closeness; yet it can also hurt our partners when we share potentially\u00a0threatening information, such as, \u201cI really dislike when you do x,\u201d or, \u201cI wish you\u2019d do y instead.\u201d<\/p>\n

But, in the long run, expressed and perceived honesty has several positive effects, according to the Rochester team.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe found\u00a0that being more honest in expressing a desired change predicted greater personal and relationship well-being for both partners, as well as greater partner motivation to change in the moment,\u201d says Le. \u201cThe same pattern emerged when the person receiving a request to change perceived <\/em>honesty in their partner, regardless of whether their partner was being honest or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Le, together with Rochester graduate students Princeton Chee<\/a>, Claire Shimshock<\/a>, and Jenny Le<\/a>, discovered that even if partners in a relationship don\u2019t perfectly understand or accurately perceive each other\u2019s honesty, the simple act of expressing honesty and being perceived as honest by the other partner has a positive effect on the relationship and contributes to its overall well-being. Essentially, the effort<\/em> to be truthful matters more than flawless accuracy in its perception.<\/p>\n

\u201cThese results collectively suggest that being honest and seeing honesty in a partner can benefit relationships,\u201d says Le. \u201cEven when the truth may hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

One caveat: These findings are based on a sample of couples in relatively good relationships, according to Le. Future research might look at whether the same pattern holds true for distressed couples.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a new study of more than 200 couples, a team of Rochester psychologists reveals the truth about honesty in answering tough relationship questions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":942,"featured_media":638412,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[456],"tags":[18592,105,18572],"class_list":["post-638402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-society-culture","tag-department-of-psychology","tag-relationships","tag-research-finding"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe truth may hurt. 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