{"id":20736,"date":"2017-11-17T14:01:23","date_gmt":"2017-11-17T14:01:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bferrign.wdev.rochester.edu\/uhs\/?page_id=20736"},"modified":"2017-11-17T21:17:12","modified_gmt":"2017-11-17T21:17:12","slug":"the-grieving-student","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/referring-a-student-to-ucc\/the-grieving-student\/","title":{"rendered":"The Grieving Student"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>During the course of most college student&#8217;s academic careers, it is likely he or she will have someone close to him or her die (e.g., sibling, parent, grandparent, close friend, boy\/girlfriend). Each person will grieve in slightly different ways.<\/p>\n<h2>What You Can Do:<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Ask the student if he\/she would like to talk about the person who has died (e.g., &#8220;Would you like to tell me about your friend?&#8221;).<\/li>\n<li>Listen carefully and compassionately (e.g., &#8220;I am so sorry you have lost your grandmother, and I feel sad as I listen to you talk about her&#8221;).<\/li>\n<li>Have Kleenex available.<\/li>\n<li>Consider the option of allowing students to postpone turning in assignments or taking exams.<\/li>\n<li>Share similar experiences you have had so the student doesn&#8217;t feel alone or &#8220;crazy&#8221; (e.g., &#8220;When my mother passed away, I couldn&#8217;t concentrate on anything either&#8221;).<\/li>\n<li>Be on the alert for signs that the student is feeling a need to harm him\/herself as a way to cope with the pain. (See section on &#8220;The Suicidal Student.&#8221;)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Don&#8217;t:<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Be afraid of tears. Tears are a natural, healthy way to release very intense emotions.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid discussing the deceased person with the student. He\/She is often grateful to find someone who will listen.<\/li>\n<li>Say, &#8220;It&#8217;s not that bad,&#8221; &#8220;Things will get better,&#8221; &#8220;Crying won&#8217;t help,&#8221; or &#8220;I know exactly what you are feeling.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<h2>Guide Table of Content<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/typical-concerns-for-ur-student\/\">Typical Concerns for UR Students<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/what-you-should-know-about-student-problems\/\">What You Should Know About Student Problems<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/what-you-should-know-about-symptoms-of-distressd-or-distressing-students\/\">Symptoms of Distressed or Distressing Students<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/responding-to-distressed-or-distressing-students\/\">Responding to Distressed or Distressing Students<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/making-a-referral-to-the-ur-counseling-center\/\">Making a Referral to the UR Counseling Center<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/responding-to-student-emergencies\/\">Responding to Student Emergencies<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-ur-counseling-services\/\">The UR Counseling Center<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/some-information-about-confidentiality\/\">Information About Confidentiality<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/mandated-risk-assessment\/\">Mandated Risk Assessment<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/other-campus-referral-sources\/\">Other Campus Referral Sources<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/academic-faculty-classroom-climate-and-prevention\/\">Academic Faculty: Classroom Climate and Prevention<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/responding-after-a-tragedy-an-in-the-classroom-guide\/\">Responding After a Tragedy: An In-The-Classroom Guide<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Addendum<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>The Grieving Student<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-anxiousshy-student\/\">The Anxious\/Shy Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-student-who-may-have-an-eating-disorder\/\">The Student Who May Have an Eating Disorder<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-demanding-student\/\">The Demanding Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-dependentpassive-student\/\">The Dependent\/Passive Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-depressed-student\/\">The Depressed Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-student-in-poor-contact-with-reality\/\">The Student in Poor Contact with Reality<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-student-suspected-of-substance-abuseaddiction\/\">The Student Suspected of Substance Abuse or Addiction<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-victim-of-stalking\/\">The Victim of Stalking<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-victim-of-an-abusive-dating-relationship\/\">The Victim of an Abusive Dating Relationship<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-victim-of-a-hate-incident\/\">The Victim of a Hate Incident<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-victim-of-hazing\/\">The Victim of Hazing<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-student-who-has-been-sexually-harassed-assaulted\/\">The Student Who Has Been Sexually Harassed (Assaulted)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-suicidal-student\/\">The Suicidal Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-suspicious-student\/\">The Suspicious Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-verbally-aggressive-student\/\">The Verbally Aggressive Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-violent-student\/\">The Violent Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/the-absentdisappeared-from-class-student\/\">The Absent\/Disappeared From Class Student<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/responding-to-students-with-transition-issues\/\">Responding to Students with Transition Issues<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/helping-distressed-or-distressing-students\/responding-to-the-student-with-choice-of-major-or-career-concerns\/\">Responding to the Student with Choice of Major or Career Concerns<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>During the course of most college student&#8217;s academic careers, it is likely he or she will have someone close to him or her die (e.g., sibling, parent, grandparent, close friend,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"parent":20046,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-20736","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Grieving Student - University Health Service<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/uhs\/ucc\/referring-a-student-to-ucc\/the-grieving-student\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Grieving Student - University Health Service\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"During the course of most college student&#8217;s 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