Today is the day of the first Eurovision semi-final! (Which you can watch live on the Eurovision.tv site.) To celebrate, we have a new post from Janis about six more contestants participating today. If you missed his earlier posts be sure and read his introduction to Eurovision and his take on the first six contestants. And for anyone still confused by the Eurovision love . . . Just go with it. The finals are Saturday, so this is the last week of laughing at these amazing videos. For now.
Hello my friends! It is Your friend Janis again—we are having very few times before it is starting of semi-finals 1 for Eurovision songgames!!! I am so very excite I cannot keep my days and minutes from jumblings into a melty pot of jumbliness! Also because we are having such few times before songgames semi-finals, I am having fewer times to write to You long introduction for my writings.
Oh but wait please—I must ask shortly if peoples are also seeing not so many yesvotes for songgames finals. Or am I only the one? It is cause for many upsets in my heart and brain and also sometimes of the stomach. Also I have been drinking grapewine. So friends I hope You will not be angered by my upsettings, but will take pleasantries and amusements in my following words! Let us continue and watch semi-finals 1 together Tuesday! See You there!
Switzerland: Switzerland is making songs of stereotype rock and robot positivity? HEI IS JEFF GOLDBLUM! He is for to sing with U2 songings and bangings of many robotic ninja secretaries? Oh yes Jeff, swim for dreams and make of the secretary bangings. You, Goldblum, with the dirty ninja songings. For you will not be banging anypersons in Eurovision songgames finals.
Belgium: How old is Belgium girl? Her skirtdress is much too little for her ages. Where is parentings of Belgium girl!? Put on longskirt, for to make grandmothers (and yes also myself) not so uncomfy. And what for is Belgium singer making so many squattings? Is exercise video for Eurovision songgames? Is commercial for blockage of intestinalization? Hei Belgium, I am having some news: any other SONG will do.
Finland: Watch out for sweeping currents dancer of rapid approachings!! She is making of the quickkicks and angry ninjahands. Oh now see, I am spending many seconds looking at smokes and ninjahands dancer and am already forgetting of Finland songgames contestant. Except for to know Finland dress is from rolling in green leaves of ferns. Or of peacocks. Oh Finland. No no no.
Israel: NO, PLEASE. More pleasant would be for to tip satan-hot water on arms when trying to make draining of pasta noodles with inadequate kitchen utensilry.
San Marino: San Marino is obvious making efforts for to be Serene Republic of Crappings? And of cyber sexing!? Perhaps more satisfactory is Serene Republic of WHORING. San Marino maybe is thinking Facebook social network IS internets. News for you, San Marino: IS NOT. IS NOT INTERNETS. ALSO, GAGGLING IS NO WORD ANYWHERE EVER.
Cyprus: is making copycatting of Belarus Dmitry Koldun of 2007, who was having fake guitarings but also horned witch woman in picturevideo, and is also sounding as every other clubsong in Europe. Ah, look, is hunter man for to make savings of the day! I am betting he is coming for to eat her apple—if you are knowing what I am telling.
Thank You friends, I will make a pause for a time and be returned with more Eurovision songgames writings in some hours! Let us watch together! Excite!
Randall Jarrell once argued a point that I will now paraphrase and, in doing so, over-simplify: As a culture, we need book criticism, not book reviews. I sort of agree, but let’s not get into all of that. Having finished. . .
Like any good potboiler worth its salt, Fuminori Nakamura’s The Gun wastes no time setting up its premise: “Last night, I found a gun. Or you could say I stole it, I’m not really sure. I’ve never seen something so. . .
Heiner Resseck, the protagonist in Monika Held’s thought-provoking, first novel, This Place Holds No Fear, intentionally re-lives his past every hour of every day. His memories are his treasures, more dear than the present or future. What wonderful past eclipses. . .
If you’ve ever worked in a corporate office, you’ve likely heard the phrase, “Perception is reality.” To Björn, the office worker who narrates Jonas Karlsson’s novel The Room, the reality is simple: there’s a door near the bathroom that leads. . .
I recently listened to Three Percent Podcast #99, which had guest speaker Julia Berner-Tobin from Feminist Press. In addition to the usual amusement of finally hearing both sides of the podcast (normally I just hear parts of Chad’s side. . .
Let’s not deceive ourselves, man is nothing very special. In fact, there are so many of us that our governments don’t know what to do with us at all. Six billion humans on the planet and only six or seven. . .
“Rambling Jack—what’s that?”
“A novel. Novella, I guess.”
“Yeah, it looks short. What is it, a hundred pages?”
“Sorta. It’s a duel language book, so really, only about… 50 pages total.”
“And this—what. . .
Many authors are compared to Roberto Bolaño. However, very few authors have the privilege of having a Roberto Bolaño quote on the cover of their work; and at that, one which states, “Good readers will find something that can be. . .
In Josep Maria de Sagarra’s Private Life, a man harangues his friend about literature while walking through Barcelona at night:
When a novel states a fact that ties into another fact and another and another, as the chain goes on. . .
César Aira dishes up an imaginative parable on how identity shapes our sense of belonging with Dinner, his latest release in English. Aira’s narrator (who, appropriately, remains nameless) is a self-pitying, bitter man—in his late fifties, living again with. . .