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Jedward! You Make My Ear-Eyes Bleed [FuckyeahEurovision]

Two Janis Stirna posts in one day! This is quite a treat! Anyway, he sent this in to me less than half an hour ago, with just enough time for me to get it online before the semi-finals kick off. Again, if you haven’t read his earlier pieces, you can find them here, here, and here. And I’ll be back with some more literary things in the very near future.

Hello again friends! I make this writing again quickfast for we are having fewer than 45 minutes before Eurovision songgames semi-finals 1!!! Are we all going to have funtimes together? We are starting for last six Eurovision motherlands contestants in semi-finals 1. Ready? Okay!

Denmark: Girl Captain is having a good singing time, and will maybe probably be having a place in Eurovision songgames finals. I am not to understanding for Girl Captain’s captain hat. Where is boat? Where is boat for to float away on trip to meet doppelgänger Sandi Thom of United Kingdom Englands?

Russia: Why for is all the Omas??! With Omas in area is NEVER party! No party for no one! Omas are for to making every peoples eating cold porridge and taking short sleep times in midday and wearing highsocks even in weather of sun and hot and sweat. Boom Boom Boom Russia how are you thinking! I am afraid for to say more or else Oma wrath will be happening oh yes. I am thinking no-vote for songgames finals, but maybe yes-vote for semi-finals.

Hungary: Something about sad times, maybe, but rich man has poor bum twin and… What? Hello? Oh, apologies, I have been falling asleep from having boredom.

Austria: All popos making woki? What is woki?! Austria boys are choosing most prostitution womens and placing of them in clothings that is not clothings. And having of poles for to dance onto. Is hard for to keep concentration when is so much lightings and colorings and woop woop wokitimes. Is like aggressive stripclubbings for boys who are not for to win at life. No-vote!

Moldova: Moldova is recycling old MTV times sets? And finding singer who is lovechild of Edward Norton and Colin Farrell? Jajaja! I am liking of the stomping and clubscene and music vibings. Is jiving and happening, man! Yes-votes more.

Ireland: Why for is Ireland bringing back little boys of obnoxious twinness? Is not same song of Eurovision songgames previous? Is just riding waves of silly sadness and hairs that are too much and parents who must be crying much all the nights and asking theirselves how late is too late for putting offsprings for to adoption. Have I to say it? NO.



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