Resources for Self-Help, Friends, or Family
Self-Help
The University Counseling Center has compiled some information regarding several areas of concern in order for you to gain some insight and have access to resources. The following are for informational purposes only. They are not intended to diagnose or treat any conditions. They cannot substitute for a consultation with a physician or a mental health professional. You can always reach the University Counseling Center at (585) 275-3113.
After Making Your First Appointment
Here are some ways you can take care of yourself before your appointment:
- Stick to a routine – get dressed, go to classes, go to meetings. Keeping structure in your day can help things feel less overwhelming.
- Be sure to eat regularly and in a healthy way. Skipping meals or overeating can wear down your coping resources.
- Get as much sleep as you need – and avoid sleeping too much. Six to eight hours are what most people need. To help with sleep, go to bed and get up at the same time every day, avoid napping, and do not study in bed.
- Do some physical activity that you enjoy – walking, running, swimming, working out, playing sports, etc. Moderate physical exercise can help you feel better emotionally. Start small with walks around campus.
- Talk to friends and family who are supportive and positive influences. Isolating yourself can make things feel even worse.
- Try to do at least one fun or enjoyable thing each day.
- Practice relaxation activities, such as meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, hot baths, massages, and yoga.
- Avoid using alcohol, other drugs, and caffeine for self-medication.
- Use deep breathing techniques.
- Keep a journal – write down your thoughts and feelings. Remember, this is just for you – so it doesn’t need to be perfectly written. It’s an outlet for you to express some of the things going on inside you.
- Self-soothe using one or more of your five senses – watch the beauty of snow falling, listen to your favorite relaxing music, wear your favorite perfume, give someone a hug, eat strawberries, etc.
- Visualize a pleasant memory, a relaxing place, an image of yourself feeling better. These can be real memories or imagined events and places. Visualize with lots of detail, using each of your senses to create as vivid an image as possible.
- Use humor – spend time with people who make you laugh, watch a funny movie, read a funny book.
- Challenge negative self-talk – pay attention to negative messages you may give yourself and challenge their validity.
- Distract yourself temporarily from your difficulties – watch a movie, read a book, play a game. Give yourself permission to attend fully to something besides your worries and concerns.
- Attend to your spirituality – go to church/synagogue/mosque – pray, read religious works.
Taking Care of Yourself During Times of Tragedy and Stress
It is very normal to experience a variety of reactions when traumatic and stressful events occur, even if you were not directly involved. Some very normal reactions can include:
- Shock: often the initial reaction to events like this. Shock is the person’s emotional protection from being too overwhelmed by the event. You may feel stunned, numb, or in disbelief concerning the event.
- Suffering: this is the long period of grief during which the person gradually comes to terms with the reality of the event/loss. Feelings that life is overwhelming, chaotic and disorganized are common.
- Sadness: The most common feeling found following traumatic events like this. It may become quite intense and be experienced as emptiness or despair.
- Anger: Can be one of the most confusing feelings for the grieving person. Anger is a response to feeling powerless, frustrated, or even abandoned.
- Anxiety: Can range from mild insecurity to strong panic attacks. Often grievers become anxious about their ability to take care of themselves, or fear an event like this will happen to them or a loved one.
- Guilt: Including thoughts such as “If only I had….”
It is very important to take care of yourself during this time. Some ideas for doing so are:
- Talk it out with a friend, family member, advisor or therapist (UCC is available 24/7 by calling 275-3113).
- Reach out to your spiritual leaders for support, attend religious services, pray, meditate. The Interfaith Chapel can be reached at 275-4321.
- Be mindful of Media. You want to stay informed, but try to limit the amount of news you take in. Watching a news report once informs you; watching it over and over again just adds to the stress and contributes no new knowledge.
- Reach out to your friends and family and other support systems – use this time as an excuse to strengthen those relationships.
- List all the things you have to do and prioritize. Do the top few and leave the rest for the next day.
- Do something for someone else. It will help to forget your problems and make you feel good about yourself.
- Go to a quiet place. Noise and chaos might contribute to your state of mind.
- Take a long hot bath or shower.
- Get a good night’s sleep. It will make you more productive and able to deal with the situation.
- Take care of your body. Exercise and eat well, avoiding caffeine, greasy food and sugar.
- Avoid excessive alcohol use or drug use. It leads to more stress in the long run.
- Learn and practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, etc.
- Manage your time, anticipate stressful situations and plan time for them.
- As always, if you are concerned that a friend or fellow student is in danger to themselves or someone else, please call Public Safety in an emergency (275-3333), or call UCC (275-3113) for support and help.
If you find your regular coping methods are not helping, and you find yourself troubled by these reactions for several days past the incident in such a way that they are impacting your regular routine (academics, sleeping, eating, socializing), it may be helpful to talk to a professional for extra support.
Call UCC at any time: 585-275-3113.
www.rochester.edu/ucc
IN TIMES OF CRISIS: Things to try for yourself and others:
WITHIN THE FIRST 24 – 48 HOURS
- You are normal and having normal reaction – do not label yourself crazy.
- It is not unusual to have physical, emotional, and social reactions.
- Talk to people – talk is the most healing medicine.
- Sometimes being around people without talking is still protective.
- Periods of strenuous physical exercise, alternated with relaxation, will alleviate some of the physical reactions.
- Follow your Need and Experience with news and how/when/if you consume Media – we may need constant monitoring, or a schedule to check in, or time off.
- Structure your time – keep busy.
- Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol.
- Reach out – people do care.
WITHIN THE FIRST FEW DAYS
- Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
- Spend time with others.
- Help your co-workers and friends by sharing feelings and checking out how they are doing.
- Give yourself permission to feel rotten and share your feelings with others.
- Keep a journal; write your way through those sleepless hours.
- Do things that feel good to you.
- Realize those around you are under stress.
- Do not make any big life changes.
- Do make some daily decisions, which can give you a feeling of control over your life (e.g., if someone asks you what you want to eat).
- Get plenty of rest.
- Reoccurring thoughts, dreams or flashbacks are normal – don’t try to fight them – they’ll decrease over time and become less painful.
- Eat well-balanced and regular meals (even if you don’t feel like it).
WHEN YOU ARE READY
- University Counseling Center, CARE, Interfaith Chapel or Faith Communities
Mental Health App Database
- Access a database of over 260 mental health apps here.
- Find more expert-reviewed apps and digital health resources here.
Self-Help for College Students
- Adjustment To Life’s Changes
- Communication And Conflict Resolution
- Emotion Regulation – Mindful University Project
- Helping A Friend
- Roommate Conflicts
- Dealing with Homesickness
Depression, Stress & Anxiety
- Doing What Matters in Times of Stress
- When You are Facing Traumatic Stress
- Stress, Anxiety, and Stress-Reducing Tips
- Coping with Sadness and Depressive Feelings
- University Student Anxiety Resources
Disordered Eating
Self-Injury
Veterans
- Psychological Well-being of War Veterans: Transitioning to College
- Returning from the war zone: A guide for families of military members (PDF)
LGBTQ Resources
- Resources for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Individuals
- Resources for Families of Transgender and Gender Diverse Children
Substance Abuse & Addiction
- University of Rochester Alcohol and Other Drug Education Program
- Community Recovery Resources
- Naloxone Box Map Monroe County
- Alcohol Use Awareness
- Drug and Alcohol Abuse
- ProjectKnow – Understanding Addiction
- John Norris
- Strong Recovery
- Addiction Resource
- Drug Rehab Guide for Campus
Suicide
Grief
Other Resources
- ROCovery Fitness Inc.
- Half Of Us
- Relaxation Audio
- Relaxation Videos
- The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
- The American Psychiatric Association
- The American Psychological Association
- Dr. John Grohol’s Mental Health Page
- The Mental Health Foundation
- The National Institute of Mental Health
- The National Mental Health Association