The Demanding Student

Typically, the time and energy you give to the demanding student is never enough. They often seek to control your time and unconsciously believe the amount of time received is a reflection of their worth. Students who are demanding can be intrusive and persistent and may require much time and attention. Demanding traits can be associated with anxiety, depression, personality problems, and/or thought disorders, mania, drug use/abuse.

Characteristics of student who are demanding include:

• A sense of entitlement
• An inability to empathize
• A need for control
• Difficulty in dealing with ambiguity
• Perfectionism
• Difficulty with structure and limits
• Dependency
• Fears about handling life
• Elevated mood
• Drug use or abuse

What You Can Do:

• Talk to the student in a place that is safe and comfortable
• Remain calm and take the lead
• Offer limited but positive feedback
• Set limits on your time and keep to them (e.g., “I have only 10 minutes” or “Excuse me, I need to attend to other things”)
• Emphasize behaviors that are and aren’t acceptable
• Be prepared for manipulative requests and behaviors
• Respond quickly and with clear limits to behavior that disrupts class, student sessions, or consultations
• Maintain clear boundaries in relationship
• Offer them other possibilities of places to get support/attention

Don’t:

• Argue with the student
• Give in to inappropriate requests, making exceptions, special “deals” bargains
• Adjust your schedule or policies to accommodate the student
• Ignore inappropriate behavior that has a negative impact on you or other students
• Feel obligated to take care of the student, or feeling guilty for not doing more
• Let him/her use you as his/her only source of support.
• Get trapped into being bullied out of your comfort zone (time, role)

Guide Table of Content

• Typical Concerns for UR Students
• What You Should Know About Student Problems
• Symptoms of Distressed or Distressing Students
• Responding to Distressed or Distressing Students
• Making a Referral to the UR Counseling Center
• Responding to Student Emergencies
• The UR Counseling Center
• Information About Confidentiality
• Mandated Risk Assessment
• Other Campus Referral Sources
• Academic Faculty: Classroom Climate and Prevention
• Responding After a Tragedy: An In-The-Classroom Guide

Addendum

• The Grieving Student
• The Anxious/Shy Student
• The Student Who May Have an Eating Disorder
• The Demanding Student
• The Dependent/Passive Student
• The Depressed Student
• The Student in Poor Contact with Reality
• The Student Suspected of Substance Abuse or Addiction
• The Victim of Stalking
• The Victim of an Abusive Dating Relationship
• The Victim of a Hate Incident
• The Victim of Hazing
• The Student Who Has Been Sexually Harassed (Assaulted)
• The Suicidal Student
• The Suspicious Student
• The Verbally Aggressive Student
• The Violent Student
• The Absent/Disappeared From Class Student
• Responding to Students with Transition Issues
• Responding to the Student with Choice of Major or Career Concerns